About Lying – from the perspective of TCM

A lie is not the truth.

Is lying a moral obligatory action or used to deceive? Correct definition: To make a believed-false statement to another person with the intention that that other person believe that statement to be true.

There are four putative necessary conditions that define lying; simply – one lies knowing this is not the truth – or one tells a lie believing this is the truth… e.t.c. The “clear” lie is the one told with intention to deceive and advance personal gain… Either way, truth or not – bad words spoken are hard to forget and all we say leaves a trace: We should choose our comments about others to be formed with kind words and caution, for this trace will stick in our minds for a lifetime!

I could bore you now with a book long philosophical analysis about how much of a lie is a lie and when the truth is not real either. But some of us do agree that the truth – as a general understanding of “factual real” – has a different affect on our physical being compared with “lies” or dishonesty. Psychological effects are influenced on how we perceive either to be; debatably, the assumed truth might generate more positive and comforting feelings and assumptions of dishonesty seems to trigger a reaction of discomfort and can trigger physical signs of illness.

I’m purposely avoiding the recognition that a placebo effect (lying about the reality of physical dismay) has shown people to overcome illness by strongly believing in a distorted truth. Rectified lying?

Let me set two (2) opposing points on a linear model with truth being on the right end and lie on the left side. Most of us might agree that we all place ourselves somewhere between these to endpoints on this model, indicating we are not fully capable of convicting others (or myself) of neither being fully truthful nor self-affirmed liars.

It is fascinating to think that all logic and linear thinking human beings could not place themselves clearly on either end point. We are all more or less dishonest!

It could be that we either have a strong understanding of nobility and morality or a clear understanding that life – as we live it – for most of us presents us with an impossibility to manage without choosing to manipulate specific circumstances within these two end points. We equally embrace that there is hardly anyone around us that is 100% poled left or right. It comforts us that within this mathematical scheme we all understand each other as not fully truthful. It makes lying not so uncomon and a fact of managing…

To make it even more complex; we have the ability to perceive information, ideas and combinations of influences to be either truthful or we choose to doubt.

Even if we are presented with science and “reality” we can deny ourselves to accept the presented information as real. We can even choose a lie to be true. Really confusing.

I have to leave you hanging with this conundrum and ponder about where you place yourself on this chart. Here are a few suggestions to guide you with the wisdom of old souls to find comfort when confronted with either – a lie or a truth – that seems difficult to confront and accept: Life is short, forgive fast.

Be honest to yourself.

Be weary of people that have lied to you in the past. Try to convey the truth without calculating your own benefit (or loss).  Do not over-react when you are confronted with anyone telling you a hard to accept fact.

Do not surround yourself with people that lie a lot – their mission is to lower your own standard for they will not change.

You can avoid responding to everything and let “the action speak” – It might take longer to convey your message but it is better than leveling with dishonesty. I do recommend to speak up, but sometimes diplomacy is just not possible…

I’m currently stuck in a very difficult scenario; a complexity of lies and thieveries and I have to patiently endure being critically observed, doubted and distrusted. But for my own sanity and health I must simply follow my path and focus my energy on being kind and correct while becoming a witness of odd consequences of misbehavior. It is fascinating how people with ill intend flip between good and evil in the shortest of moments while unable to change their adapted “false sense of reality” – still pilfering and manipulating the truth to their advance. I’m equally awestruck about anyone supporting and fueling such characters, clearly entertained by this play on hand. It is an ugly situation!

I focus on building strength, meditation, sport and eating healthy. The best medicine to cope with difficulties in life is self-love. Be kind and honest to yourself. This will reflect on others. It is not always in our power to make others happy. They need to want to be happy.

I avoid negativity on screen, in music and restrict my own actions to balance my decorum.  Sometimes it is okay to wait and watch; It might be the “lesser truth” but it is a “lesser lie”… Within I am squeezed away from where I would like to place myself on the above equation.

That makes me so “normal”…

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